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November 11 jeezi have so much stuff to tell you its scary i dont know how i will but ill do my best this is going to be tough ...even tho it isnt all bad i want this to work tho August 31 R.I.P I wish i knew now what i know about my grandma harder She took World war II orphans in and gave them a home till she moved into Canada i think that's freaking Heroic she never talked to me about it ill miss ya August 06 I dont know.& I don't think i could tell anybody I wouldn't have even written this down if it didn't make me feel better to have it out there... sometimes its easy , a choice between whats right and whats easy but there is no black and white , and of course it makes sense that there isnt on a lighter note Seeing my cousins tomorrow =] awesome kids they are possible pictures to follow (not sure though) July 29 i meant to deleate my last blog but i forgot too random my bad london was awesome I might be biking there with David and some other friends =) ... July 18 LondonnRandom .. Going for the weekend, will be interesting to see mah hometown again i have alot to say haha , but ill wait till your here im going to have to make a tough decision , though it might be easier then i think now .. I dont know what i feel about this whole thing hahsah i just feel DISCONNECTED =/ im thinking you can change this..but it isnt your fault these are basically random sentences none connected to each other really June 15 Music of course like other human beings i love my music like Alot of human beings it is important to me as breathing and last but not least i believe music helps a person heal heres the songs that matter to me (not that they should matter to you) 1.Surrounded - Dreamtheater 2.Death and all his friends- Coldplay 3.get it faster - jimmy eat world 4.Blackout - Muse 5.Starlight- Muse 6.Normal- porcupine tree 7. Stumbleine- smashing pumpkins 8. 1979 -smashing pumpkins 9. Across the universe- Soundtrack 10.Dancing for rain- Rise Against 11. Trains- Porcupine tree 12 Leaving after all- Three 13Astro knot - Three 14 shadow play- Three 15 Endless sacrifice - dreamtheater 16 disappear -dreamtheater i just figured i should cap off that set of crap blogs with a reminder of what makes me happy Listening to : Hey Jude - (across the universe soundtrack) scratch that out of all people my little brother comes and cheers me up i mean yeah im upset but hes making me laugh happy 15th Matthew :) (that would be my brother) June 14 make me sick she admitted she lead me on i don't need this shit i got to teach myself to stop trusting people if I had half a brain i would have left her a long time ago i need to talk to you more then ever miss mc stab stab i have one more question , when are you finally over someone when they can stop hurting you ? Sleeping beauty - a perfect circle Drunk on ego Truly thought I could make it right If I kissed you one more time to Help you face the nightmare But you're far too poisoned for me Such a fool to think that I can wake you from your slumber That I could actually heal you.. May 30 oifi like that I'm picky with girls i think it suits me I look for something that can't be explained or dismissed easily its kind of like confidence but not quite theres just somthing there , that i dont see in other girls thats my best explaination But hey if you cant get my attention then theres really no point When the right one comes along though I'm back in grade 5 , just a little to scared to do something about it still somehow I use that nervous energy and it works and of course , my feelings haven't changed for the girl that has been on my mind what a surprise its 5:25 a.m and I'm awake I guess thats the very definition of insomnia well im hoping its bed for me after writing this Ill be asleep by 6 at the latest Listening to: shadow play- Three its now 5:44 am . goodnight ya goofs "yes it kills me that you could be her well in the off chance you find this , you can sure as hell find me and just know i'm still slowly walking catch me ?" May 26 Today is just another reminder that the only person you can ever count on is your self Music : astroknot- Three May 17 Dream theater(concert) I saw them live last Wednesday (for all who dont know Dreamtheater is the best band out there ) Lets just say it was unquestionably amazing Since it was a multi band tour i will also mention that Three was there (yes i love three) Also Opeth (used to love Opeth I'm kinda back into them now) And another band that i don't know what to say they were pretty impressive but ill wait to pass judgment Between the buried and me (i was getting my stuff signed while they were playing but i caught most of it ) I met Joey Eppard and got his autograph (sweet shit) Also got a dream theater shirt I've wanted since forever But it cost me an arm and a leg (Since Dream theater and Three are 2 of my favorite bands i am now Horribly happy ) its also nice to hear some Opeth again , specifically live it got me back to them a bit . Currently Reading : The fountainhead (Ayn Rand) (already finished atlas shrugged) Listening to: Surrounded-Dreamtheater (its an amazing song) Addiction: Energy drinks (particularly Monster & redbull) "you know who you are why talk about my personal life ? It would be horribly dull so instead i ask If you want it to be someone, Anyone in the world Why not you ? why not us? " Surrounded - Dream theater Morning comes too early and nighttime falls too late And sometimes all I want to do is wait The shadow Ive been hiding in has fled from me today I know its easier to walk away than look it in the eye But I will raise a shelter to the sky And beneath this Star tonight Ill lie She will slowly yield the light As I awaken from the longest night Dreams are shaking Set sirens waking up tired eyes With the light memories all rush into his head By a candle stands a mirror Of his heart and soul she dances She was dancing through the night above his bed And walking to the window He throws the shutters out Against the wall And from an ivory tower hears her call let the light surround you Its been a long, long time Hes had awhile to think it over In the end he only sees the change Light to dark Dark to light Light to dark Dark to light Heaven must be more than this When angels waken with a kiss Sacred hearts wont take the pain But mine will never be the same He stands before the window His shadow slowly fading from the wall And from an ivory tower he hears her call let the light surround you Once lost but I was found When I heard the stained glass shatter all around me I sent the spirits tumbling down the hill But I will hold this one on high above me still I once could see but now at last Im blind I know its easier to walk away than look it in the eye But I had given all than I could take And now Ive only habits left to break Tonight Ill still be lying here Surrounded in all the light November 28 UpdateSo im doing quite well in college
me and my gf broke up about a month ago so im single again
i was pretty upset at the time but now im cool with it
like all breakups it was a long story
anyway im off
Listening to: Muse -Starlight
mood- good February 16 another long wait from my last updatei havent blogged in a long time i dont know why i guess ive just been busy for all the people who dont use myspace and stuff heres a bit of a catchup now
i write from a laptop now (windows vista 60 gig hard drive (1 and a half gigs of ram)
i listen to diffrent bands then i used to (i think)
I am now 18
me and my girlfriend have been dating for more then a year :) and i am so happy being with her its not even funny
everything is going my way i suppose
i feel spolied by life
anyway
i applied to college (my avarage is now around 71% the best ive ever done since grade school)
but im still scared
i have a job doing close open at mcdonalds
i dont like it but at least i olny work weekends
see yah
listening to :the noose-a perfect circle
feeling:happy
May 30 havent written in a long timeHEY Its moi (i finally learned a french word moi means me in french im so coool) i used to blog like crazy and now i barley write ....i guess its cuz i dont know if anyone reads this ...most of my blogs are on myspace now ...and i dont update that often etheir anyway ..i dont like the new live setup for profiles the old way was better.I guess that's one of the many reasons i dont go on anymore to blog. Anyway guess what im doing ....other then blogging of course ...a history essay  i dont like essays ....school is never fun Also I have been very busy because i have been hanging out with my girlfriend alot. I really believe me and her are going well as 1)shes the best thing thats ever happend to me and 2)im sure im in love with her and I know she feels the same ..of course time will tell how strong it is but me and her haven't had many bad days together.Of corse this is old news to my msn contact list but i wrote this for the benefit of the unfortunate person who reads my blogs lol. Me and meagan have now been going out for 5 months and some odd days now. I've noticed that alot of relationships are working out these days and that's a great thing and something that used to never happen. Ive been looking for jobs ..im applying to value village and giant tiger ...wish me luck And if you know of any places hiring tell me please listening to:A fair judgement-opeth mood:good my myspace Account my last fm profile (music i like) January 27 good weekwell alot has happend recently like exams and getting a electric guitar ( and meg found the amp so i can actually play it now)
i guess i dont sound that bad because nobody died or told me to turn it off and a couple ppl said it was ok. Well i still need to learn a few things like how to read guitar tabs (I never payed attention in music)
At least now i know how to use the fingerboard just not how to hold it exactly
oh btw to my msn contacts: i havent been online because of a loose modem wire or somting like that ...but as you all should be able to tell it works now
and if you cant well ....your a little slow but its ok cuz i didnt notice the wire was loose for a couple days
anyway umm this poem is kinda offbeat and angry
Always wrong
It’s always so easy For you to say I’m wrong It’s not too hard to close your mind And not believe I’m strong
You decide you don’t believe It’s not too hard to do
You decide you hate me But don’t know what I’ve been through You decide your better But won’t walk in my shoes
So don’t say you know me When you haven’t got a clue Don’t say you knew me Because you never really grew
You can’t see right through me You can’t even look around So I suggest You start staring at the ground
Mood:good listening to:Root of all evil-Dreamtheater
And remember: if its green and been in your fridge since before you have been born grab a gun and get ready to fight your food
January 16 ....stuffoh man even though today has been a little bad my life in general has been great ive been dating meagan for almost a month now, an insanley great month I must say, im starting to feel like my writing actually has a point and im most likley going to actually have a real job faster then i thought ..and i just found out i get to be tylers math tutor (this kid in grade 3) apparantly i make sense to at least someone out there lol but i used to babysit him and i think hes a really great kid and i dont mind being around them
anyway if you like the last poem you might like this one ..ive written 57 poems now btw and maybe its a waste of energy but you know ....I dont care i have an alternate verson of this one and its about a diffrent thing
and no not all my poems are about love this one just happens to be and for the record (so i remember) i wrote it 10 days ago
Till the end of time
All the times we spent together all the times we walked away All our lives laid out before us all our lives torn away All my life flashes before me As you lay me out to die All my pain comes out from me As you tell me that your mine
As my room disappears As my heart decides to stop
I tell you again I love you And ask you who we are
All our lives laid out before us As I slowly drift away
All our lives left behind And then I start to say
“I’ll love you till the end of time” Hanging on one last breath “I’ll need you forever” As I slowly drift to death
Mood:Good
and remember: Don't feel bad for things you cant change January 02 catching up a bitI'm summerizing this time because of microsoft servers and that expireing security thing that i HATE with a passion..umm i got a myspace account but i forgot my password and url ..so dont bother ...its sad though cuz alot of ppl asked me if i had one so i went crazy and made one ..but alas i forgot the url ..but it wont be hard for me to retreive all that info considering if i have an account its proally under mellowchild as a membername
also i now have a piczo space and no clue if im going to update it or not http://www.piczo.com/Mellowchild?g=2178950&cr=3
For christmas I got cash and i spent it on a psp which didnt come with a game but i came up with a bit and got atv offroad fury blazin trails its pretty good but its the graphics that amaze me i guess
well on new years I hung out with Amanda and walked myself to death lol i also learned that i have no clue how to use my vcr because it just didnt play the tape or it just hates me.In any case after Amanda left Josh came over and we listend to music played games and stuff,then yelled happy new years and whatnot
guess what ? i got a project :< and surprise surprise i dont like to work but soon i will be backed into a corner and made to ....but its not quite the last minute yet so im not too badly off but ....7 pages of work ...well i guess ill do one part in the next day or so and the other over rest of vacation which i didnt like being so close to christmas but on the good side at least we still have another week of vacation or w.e you wanna call it
oh and i finally got rid of the ton of adware i have on my comp if you dont have an anti adware look for ad aware and if you dont have an antivirus look for avg antivirus they are both free and i dont mean free trial i mean free
so i guess thats all for now ....umm expect for the poem and the normal stuff at the end lol ....I wonder if theres any point to me leaving my poems on my space (comment?) or if they are any good (if you guna comment on the poem plez dont kiss up lol)
anyway umm this poem is i guess a bit diffrent from my other ones as its 1/not extreamley odd and 2/kinda sad (at least to me)
NEVER GONE
I’m going to die today and you need to know I'll be there to see you grow
I’ll be there so stand tall Do what I told you Listen to your mom
always remember she loves you dont forget she thinks of you
She’s the best friend you’ll ever have She will help you out when you’re sad and Calm you down when you’re mad
You were always daddy’s boy Losing and breaking half your toys
In your eyes ill be gone but in your heart ill live on
And Ill be your angel way up high, Because in your heart I’ll never die
I know compaired to the others this one is very unorthadox but i hope its good ..
anywayz thats all for now
listening to: Starseed-our lady peace Mood:Alright
and remember: Only you can prevent forest fires
December 14 the reign of terror hath endedyup my brother stopped playing greenday ..actually he stopped yesterday im so happy maybe he got sick of it like i did
anyway i might be going to a All american rejects concert im not holding my breath though because
1/ my employers suck
2/ tickets maybe sold out (i dont think they are but you never know)
3/may not get ride
4/ may get hit by meteor (people always say prepare for anything)
I hate insommnia ...i wish i could sleep right now ...well i should try cuz im rele tired it didnt work earlier tho
Anyway heres my long and convoluted christmas wish list
1/money
2/ipod (not shuffle) i like lots of memory something i dont have enought of in real life
Score: Good 1 Evil 0
listening to: Fortune faded-red hot chilli peppers
And remember: DONT ENCOURAGE THE BEARS STAY OUT OF THE FOREST
anyway heres my next poem ... its diffrent from my earlier ones but its more a part of the majority of the poems i write
Worth
Were put into place Right from birth Everybody knows What we are worth
I want to Cut my chains Prove them wrong Fight assumptions Throw them off,
Told our place from birth to death Pressure mounts with regret
I changed my mind left long ago Ceasing to be defined i now know
that on a new path I must go December 11 A 3 part epic (with a cliffhanger ending)PART ONE :THE ENEMEY
my brother asked me to make him a cd
he wanted blink 182 and greenday
he wont stop listening to greenday and
if i hear one more greenday song im gunna commit homicide
what do I do to preserve my sanity?
you would go as insane as me
if all you heard for the last 2 days
was American idiot
and holiday
Greenday used to be my favorate band
my brother changed that
IM SOOO EMOOO
PART 2: MY WILL
Anyway
i must defeat the beast
what defeats little brothers ?
Do i break the cd
or stake him ?
if i dont make it
I leave my favorate ball of lint to kyle
the rest goes to my parents
I may never be the same
kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill
PART 3: The plan
Take action
search for and destroy cd
then hunt down the evil doer
I may use nukes
Listening To-4 a.m Our lady peace
Thinking: YAY !!! MATTHEWS SLEEPING AT A FRIENDS NOOO MUSIC
And remember:Swords and friends do not mix do your part and dont stab your friends.
Fallen town
I grew up to live in this madness I grew up to live this life I wander in this fallen town Among hate and strife
I walk in this broken world searching for a friend
I'm sick of seeing enemies cruel and spiteful men
im here trapped in this place im alone in the world, here without face
Seeing my world full of dead ends I turn to leave and my life ends December 05 i cant think of a title so i rambled on about how i couldent think of a titleAck its cold outside my fingers wont even bend good anymore !!!!(just got in)
I Just got past another insufferable project and I predect....More projects to come i get one in histroy for every other week which is just evil and wrong
dont you hate when you cant think of a title for a blog like seriousley its terriable and you HAVE to title it with msn ill think of one by the time i have the blog finished
Oh and I decided to put up a list of my thoughts on diffrent issues in the world you may not give 2 shits but its my space and my stupid ideas
btw my definition of issues is very umm loose
Iraq war-Bush wanted to distract Americans from his stupidity and just made himself look worse in the process Rap-I wouldnet mind living in the ghetto for a few years if it = $$$ hell i could even do the struggling white rapper thing too cuz i suck Trends-All the real cool kids do the robot Smelly kids-have u ever heard of an amazing invention ??? like its revolutionary i bet you dont have any but if you ever see it use it its called deoderant ...D-e-o-d-e-r-a-n-t you kno...no odor ? country-"sweet caroline why did you dump me i cry all the time"ssswwwwwwwwwweeettt caroline"-damm caroline she coulda saved us all from the horror that is country Simple plan"my dad hates me my girlfriend dumped me my life is over my life is over"-hmm a rousing uninspired corous anybody?
Listening to: If i die tommorow-motley crue
Mood:Alright
words of wisdom:hard work always pays off over time but laziness pays off now -[what an insiprational quote in fact its soo inspiring i think ill put off my final project again]
oh yeah and cuz i said i would heres another one poem ..its not of course normal..but i hope its alright
Speed for thought
Can’t stop writing in my madness can’t stop sleeping in my sadness Can’t find time to find time can’t sleep worth shit don’t give a shit Seeming random it’s my day don’t like it it’s my way Can’t stand me then sit down wont walk beside me? then trip Can’t see cuz I’m in your way don’t like me then go away |
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